Giving up on dating

Because really…if he’s the kind of man who will go out with you several times, share personal stories (and even intimacy), and then not have the maturity to tell you that he is moving on — well, we don’t really want to waste any time on him. As I say: Discover Don’t Decide until you truly know him well.

(If you haven’t already, read my post about why rejection can be good for you.) But what about when he just doesn’t call You know what I mean: He usually calls within one or two days of a date, but this time it’s been four or maybe even five days, and you haven’t heard from him. Are you living your life, patiently waiting and assuming he’s busy and focused elsewhere? That, girlfriend, is the best recipe for fending off your 18 year old. Have you ever imagined things that haven’t yet happened or ‘gone down the rabbit hole’ only to find out that you made it all up?

Forget all of those fairytale movies about how the guy comes swooping in and rescues his damsel in distress and they fall madly in love and live happy ever after… Nobody ever explained that part of love to me, so I’d like to make sure that others are well informed before diving into a relationship. I blame my cynical ways and nightmarish past relationships for that momentary rant about how much love can be a pain in the butt. Nobody should feel so helpless in their love life that they actually give up on love altogether. In fact, there could be a very attractive, kind, and sweet person out there who’s perfect for you and who is feeling the same way you are: that love sucks and they should just give it up. Contrary to what all those damn romantic comedies may have you believing, love doesn’t happen in a week.

Behind all the butterflies and fairy tales, love can sometimes rear an ugly, heartbreaking side. That’s why we spend years upon years in search of our “one true love.” Love means having someone to share your secrets with, someone to support you when times get tough, and even someone to tell you when you’re being a whiney little brat and you need to shut the hell up. Giving up on love is not the solution I know what you’re thinking: “No. I am just fine on my own.” And while I completely believe that you can live life without having that type of companion, I know that deep down, you want one.

You could just be too picky and may need to be more open-minded about different types of people. [Read: When does age difference in relationships matter? You might think that you know what you want, but if you keep going for the same type of people and end up heartbroken or unsatisfied with each one, you could be dating the wrong type. You might be a huge pain in the butt, but you’re not unlovable, even if you try to be. I know it’s easy to think this if you’re not finding love, but it’s just not true.

Are you trying to find the moment on your last date where you should have seen it or gotten the hint? If you do any or all of these things, there’s a good chance your fantasy of being rejected may come true. Granted, there are times when it will be true; he’s not calling because he’s moved on. If she lives to decoupage photographs of kittens to wastebaskets, ask how she picks the photos. With friends, you get to hang out without worrying what it looks like.Don’t immediately move on to talking about your hobby of tracking down rare dung beetles. No Hidden Meanings: Dating is all about the subtext. If we spend holiday time together, does it mean we’re committed? Girlfriends have invited me to share their holiday meals when I told them I had no plans. And we understand if one of us says something is too expensive.[Read: 15 reasons why being single can be fun, too! You have to work hard every day in order to really have a successful relationship.Last time I hung out with my girlfriends, the talk turned to why we have a better time hanging out with each other than with the guys we’re dating. They want to live on their own, setting their own schedules with plenty of time to pursue their separate interests.

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